Stones, fascist regime, honey.
Mystery to the technical process.
The chemical and mechanical transformations by which substances are bent to human use.
What else were people eating? Dreams, juice
When I was young I was taught how to breathe. Immediate maggots, charm and wry humor.
British per-capita consumption, usually fallen from an ox cart.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Rejection
Finally received a response from a company on the matter of an internship. I wish they would have contacted me sooner, because I don't have the required 12hrs a week anymore. Fingers crossed they'll accept 10hrs, or "reconsider" me for winter/ spring (and tell me sooner so I can plan accordingly).
I've decided that the days of my cola addiction are over. I'm going to drink more water and less coke. Maybe I'll lose a few pounds in the process, but I'm not getting my hopes up.
Moving past my boring self, here's my latest typed rant. Enjoy :)
If It Lives Like a Pig and It Talks Like a Pig…
In just about every woman’s magazine, there is a section dedicated solely to the decoding of male behavior: “How Land the Perfect Guy,” “What He Really Means,” “Explaining Male Behavior.” These articles promise the answers every single woman wants and thinks she needs to find The One. If we understand it, then we can react appropriately. Even if you don’t know how to react, rest assured there will be suggestions on how to achieve relationship nirvana in the article itself or in next month’s issue. Perhaps, even an article on successful relationships. With all of this information on the Internet and in print, it is a wonder any woman can find herself single with no prospects.
But they do. In fact, I find myself in the very situation, which is odd. After going to my faithful friend, Google, for the answer I took several online tests (which can also be found in their magazine counterparts) to determine the problem. After analyzing the results, I have come to realize that men want to be in control, like sex, and have inflated egos. Surely, that cannot be the case; are all men pigs with evolved vocal cords?
Being in college and single, I have been in many a single male apartment. Not because I’m a slut, because I’m not, but because they generally give women free drinks at their parties. Anyways, one thing all of these apartments have in common is the mess. Look past the clutter and jetsam expected from the night’s undertakings, and you will find mold in odd places, fruit flies over a sink full of month-old dishes, and a lack of toilet paper. There is only one word to describe the health hazard known as the single male apartment: pigsty.
Focusing on other habits, we turn to examine their language. The single male and his counterparts use their own terminology that often goes unexplained to the single woman. Once we find out, the single male (and his posse) probably have come up with a whole new dictionary of near insults and vulgar activities. For instance, “Angry Pirate” details a sexual experience gone wrong, leaving the woman with a gimp and burning eye (much like a pirate with an eye patch and peg leg). Ever hear of a “butter face”? It’s not the term used for someone with an exceptionally oily face, or one who crams butter-loaded foods into it. “Butter face” is the term used to describe a woman with a hot body, but her face…
Single men are pigs. Even the “nice one” has probably partaken in a few of the grotesque activities described above. After all of this behavior, single women still date or are looking to date these men. What does that mean for the single woman? If men are pigs, then what does that make women? While I don’t have the answer to that, I do know this: Pigs are kinda cute once you get past the smell.
I've decided that the days of my cola addiction are over. I'm going to drink more water and less coke. Maybe I'll lose a few pounds in the process, but I'm not getting my hopes up.
Moving past my boring self, here's my latest typed rant. Enjoy :)
If It Lives Like a Pig and It Talks Like a Pig…
In just about every woman’s magazine, there is a section dedicated solely to the decoding of male behavior: “How Land the Perfect Guy,” “What He Really Means,” “Explaining Male Behavior.” These articles promise the answers every single woman wants and thinks she needs to find The One. If we understand it, then we can react appropriately. Even if you don’t know how to react, rest assured there will be suggestions on how to achieve relationship nirvana in the article itself or in next month’s issue. Perhaps, even an article on successful relationships. With all of this information on the Internet and in print, it is a wonder any woman can find herself single with no prospects.
But they do. In fact, I find myself in the very situation, which is odd. After going to my faithful friend, Google, for the answer I took several online tests (which can also be found in their magazine counterparts) to determine the problem. After analyzing the results, I have come to realize that men want to be in control, like sex, and have inflated egos. Surely, that cannot be the case; are all men pigs with evolved vocal cords?
Being in college and single, I have been in many a single male apartment. Not because I’m a slut, because I’m not, but because they generally give women free drinks at their parties. Anyways, one thing all of these apartments have in common is the mess. Look past the clutter and jetsam expected from the night’s undertakings, and you will find mold in odd places, fruit flies over a sink full of month-old dishes, and a lack of toilet paper. There is only one word to describe the health hazard known as the single male apartment: pigsty.
Focusing on other habits, we turn to examine their language. The single male and his counterparts use their own terminology that often goes unexplained to the single woman. Once we find out, the single male (and his posse) probably have come up with a whole new dictionary of near insults and vulgar activities. For instance, “Angry Pirate” details a sexual experience gone wrong, leaving the woman with a gimp and burning eye (much like a pirate with an eye patch and peg leg). Ever hear of a “butter face”? It’s not the term used for someone with an exceptionally oily face, or one who crams butter-loaded foods into it. “Butter face” is the term used to describe a woman with a hot body, but her face…
Single men are pigs. Even the “nice one” has probably partaken in a few of the grotesque activities described above. After all of this behavior, single women still date or are looking to date these men. What does that mean for the single woman? If men are pigs, then what does that make women? While I don’t have the answer to that, I do know this: Pigs are kinda cute once you get past the smell.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Purpose
The purpose of this blog is to follow me on my way to a career or demise, whichever happens first (unless demise happens second). I figure if I can't get published yet, I'll publish myself :) That and I'll get some experience writing/ editing on a regular basis.
Feel free to e-mail me suggestions on what to write on: Kroberts2011@yahoo.com
Feel free to e-mail me suggestions on what to write on: Kroberts2011@yahoo.com
The Future
“What the Fuck are you going to do with that?” My father’s answer when I first told him I was going to major in English. To this, my mother answered for me “She’s going to be a teacher.” No, I don’t want to be a teacher. In fact, I REALLY DO NOT want to be a teacher. Nothing against teachers, my mother is one, but I hate kids and explaining things slowly. Ergo, not teacher material.
“Do you realize how hard it is to write?” My grandfather’s answer when I told him I wanted to be a writer. He’s an outdoor columnist in Connecticut. “Go type up just one page of a book and see how many words it takes!” No thanks, Popsie. The only book I’ll be typing up is my own. Or someone else’s if the price is right.
It is hard to be a writer. I’ve been whoring out everything I’ve ever written to craig’s list postings and literary magazines desperate for a chance. My favorite is when they don’t even take the time to reject you. You just have to wait in anguish and turmoil until six weeks have gone by and he still hasn’t called. I mean, they still haven’t e-mailed. It’s all the same, isn’t it?
I’m considering writing an essay begging the reader to publish me, but that’s been done. So, I’ll send out a bottle of wine (everyone in the writing world loves wine) with every submission. The trouble with that is, I have no money. I work for minimum wage sitting in a computer lab at my college and I’ll probably be there for the rest of my life because I can’t get published. And I need to get published to prove I have experience and get a writing/publishing gig. That, or I’ll become a teacher.
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