Rejection

Finally received a response from a company on the matter of an internship. I wish they would have contacted me sooner, because I don't have the required 12hrs a week anymore. Fingers crossed they'll accept 10hrs, or "reconsider" me for winter/ spring (and tell me sooner so I can plan accordingly).

I've decided that the days of my cola addiction are over. I'm going to drink more water and less coke. Maybe I'll lose a few pounds in the process, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

Moving past my boring self, here's my latest typed rant. Enjoy :)

If It Lives Like a Pig and It Talks Like a Pig…
In just about every woman’s magazine, there is a section dedicated solely to the decoding of male behavior: “How Land the Perfect Guy,” “What He Really Means,” “Explaining Male Behavior.” These articles promise the answers every single woman wants and thinks she needs to find The One. If we understand it, then we can react appropriately. Even if you don’t know how to react, rest assured there will be suggestions on how to achieve relationship nirvana in the article itself or in next month’s issue. Perhaps, even an article on successful relationships. With all of this information on the Internet and in print, it is a wonder any woman can find herself single with no prospects.
But they do. In fact, I find myself in the very situation, which is odd. After going to my faithful friend, Google, for the answer I took several online tests (which can also be found in their magazine counterparts) to determine the problem. After analyzing the results, I have come to realize that men want to be in control, like sex, and have inflated egos. Surely, that cannot be the case; are all men pigs with evolved vocal cords?
Being in college and single, I have been in many a single male apartment. Not because I’m a slut, because I’m not, but because they generally give women free drinks at their parties. Anyways, one thing all of these apartments have in common is the mess. Look past the clutter and jetsam expected from the night’s undertakings, and you will find mold in odd places, fruit flies over a sink full of month-old dishes, and a lack of toilet paper. There is only one word to describe the health hazard known as the single male apartment: pigsty.
Focusing on other habits, we turn to examine their language. The single male and his counterparts use their own terminology that often goes unexplained to the single woman. Once we find out, the single male (and his posse) probably have come up with a whole new dictionary of near insults and vulgar activities. For instance, “Angry Pirate” details a sexual experience gone wrong, leaving the woman with a gimp and burning eye (much like a pirate with an eye patch and peg leg). Ever hear of a “butter face”? It’s not the term used for someone with an exceptionally oily face, or one who crams butter-loaded foods into it. “Butter face” is the term used to describe a woman with a hot body, but her face…
Single men are pigs. Even the “nice one” has probably partaken in a few of the grotesque activities described above. After all of this behavior, single women still date or are looking to date these men. What does that mean for the single woman? If men are pigs, then what does that make women? While I don’t have the answer to that, I do know this: Pigs are kinda cute once you get past the smell.